Nothing to Fear Day: understanding fear and building resilience

Our CEO, Jon, writes a monthly thought piece for a local newspaper, here’s one on fear.

Did you know there’s an international Nothing to Fear Day? Neither did I… but it’s a great excuse to talk about the nature of fear, how it can help us, and when it becomes a barrier to good mental health.

The day originated from President Roosevelt’s famous words in May 1941: “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.” He meant that while fear is a natural and useful emotion that keeps us safe, sometimes it can stop us from facing challenges that aren’t truly dangerous.

What is fear and why do we experience it?

At Suffolk Mind, we often say that fear arises when something challenges our needs for security and control. It’s a signal, sometimes helpful, sometimes limiting.

We tell a story in schools: a solitary lion sees his reflection in water. Because he’s never seen another lion before, he runs away in fear. A butterfly lands on his shoulder and shows him it’s just his reflection. With this new information, he overcomes his fear and drinks.

This story illustrates that fear helps us learn, especially when paired with information and experience.

How fear can help us learn

When learning anything, we need a balance of fear and positive expectation. Take learning to ride a bike:

Fear of falling keeps us cautious and attentive.
Excitement about independence motivates us to keep trying.

This balance helps us develop resilience — we get back up after falling, learning to ride without stabilizers. Fear, in this context, is not the enemy; it’s a guide.

Fear in everyday life and work

Fear isn’t just for children learning new skills. Adults face fear too:

Making a presentation at work for the first time
Meeting a new client
Pitching a bold idea

Key tips for managing fear at work:

Ensure there’s a purpose to facing the fear.
Avoid overwhelming fear, too much can block learning and progress.

Practical tips for overcoming fear

For individuals, practicing small steps is key:

Public speaking: Call a radio phone-in on a topic you care about. Use a first name only to reduce pressure.
Physical challenges: Try Clip ‘n Climb or another safe climbing activity with your family. Kids learn courage through experience, and they often encourage you too.

Start small: Pick a manageable fear that relates to a bigger one. Each small success builds confidence and resilience.

Why Understanding Fear Matters

Fear is a normal, natural emotion. But when we understand it:

We can use it to learn and grow
We can face challenges at work and in life more confidently
We build emotional resilience

By taking small steps, we can transform fear from a barrier into a tool for learning and growth.

Let’s build resilience. Anyone disagree? No? Didn’t think so… but what does that actually mean?

It makes sense to do it, of course. We all want fewer people off work with mental ill health. We’re all worried about our kids — particularly teenagers. We’d all like to avoid stress. And most of us know someone in our family or friendship groups who has been mentally unwell.

So, let’s build resilience and everything will be okay, right? Kind of.

At Suffolk Mind, we like to unpack abstract language — which is an abstract expression itself: “unpack” is a metaphor. We aim to be as clear and concrete (another metaphor) as possible.

Resilience, at Suffolk Mind, means meeting our emotional needs as well as possible so we can cope when one of them is temporarily unmet.

We’ve identified nine key emotional needs to meet to build resilience:

Control
Community
Security
Privacy (downtime)
Attention
Status (feeling valued)
Emotional connection
Achievement
Meaning and purpose

When these needs are reasonably well met, we are at the wellbeing point on the mental health continuum — avoiding stress and mental ill health.

Resilience, to us, means meeting these needs in healthy ways so we can cope when one or more are blocked.

What can knock our resilience?

For example, imagine someone is made redundant tomorrow. That threatens:

Security (worry about money)
Control (lack of choice)
Status (feeling undervalued)
…and possibly more.

But if other needs are met — say they’re in a loving relationship (emotional connection and attention), have supportive friends (community), are confident in their skills (achievement), make time for themselves (privacy), and volunteer (meaning and purpose) — they’re more likely to cope.

With most needs being met, they can stay calm and start problem-solving, like looking for a new job.

How you can use this approach to build your own resilience up

When I joined Suffolk Mind nearly a decade ago, I didn’t know anything about this approach. What I love about it is how straightforward it is. And I choose that word deliberately — it’s not simple, there’s a lot to learn — but everything you discover makes sense. It helps you understand yourself and the people around you.

Even more importantly, it helps you look after yourself and those around you.

If resilience means meeting your emotional needs proactively and with awareness, then the first step is knowing you have these needs. The second is taking action to ensure you, and the people you care about — at work or at home — can meet them too.

So yes, let’s build resilience. But let’s also be clear about what that means, and how we can do it.

Stress is nature’s way of telling us we aren’t meeting our Physical and Emotional Needs – but how can Food & Drink play a part in resolving it? Here, Penny Tyndale-Hardy, Senior Trainer at The Mental Health Toolkit, looks at the important role Food & Drink can play in meeting our needs in a healthy way.

I’m sure many of you reading this will have turned to Food & Drink as a way to manage your mood when you feel stressed. Yes – I’m talking about comfort eating.

The fatty and sugary foods many of us crave when we feel stressed give us an emotional hit which can make us feel like some of our Emotional Needs are being met. These can include Achievement, Emotional Connection or even Security.

Looking back in time – before the days of the industrial revolution and the modern way we live today – we worked hard for that calorific hit through things like hunting and farming. Doing so meant we were meeting emotional needs as well. Today these foods are much easier to get your hands, but they can still make us feel that emotional hit.

Is it wrong to use Food & Drink to meet our Emotional Needs?

While the emotional hit we get from Food & Drink can give us the impression we are feeling better, it’s very short term and doesn’t address the unmet needs stress is telling us about.

That’s why it’s important that we don’t consistently use food as an alternative to meeting our Emotional Needs in a healthier way – although an occasional treat is fine of course.

There are countless ways we can address our Emotional Needs, depending on which ones we need to meet. If we aren’t meeting our needs for Achievement, you could learn a new recipe for a healthy meal – or if it’s Community, invite friends over to join you at the table.

A healthy body and a healthy mind often go hand in hand. That’s why it’s important to enjoy the odd treat in moderation.

Keeping blood sugars balanced can prevent the peaks and troughs in energy that can make us feel sluggish, and aid a good night’s sleep – another of our important physical needs.

How can you meet your need for Food & Drink in a healthy way?

There is no denying food is one of life’s greatest pleasures. So of course it’s something we don’t want to miss out on! The key to it is making sure the things we eat and drink make our body feel as good as they make us feel emotionally.

That means a good range of different foods on the pyramid, from protein to healthy fats and plant-based foods. These, alongside complex carbs and fibre help us maintain a good level of blood sugars – and in turn keep us energetic throughout the day.

A healthy diet also means a healthy gut biome – with studies linking gut health, inflammation and mental health.

And don’t forget! Making sure the occasional treat really is occasional makes them even more enjoyable when the time comes.

Want to learn more?

Find out more about your Emotional Needs & Resources by booking The Essentials – our half-day workshop providing a foundation for mental wellbeing.

This workshop also forms the basis of our next-level courses, Supporting Mental Health and The Comprehensive Toolkit, to equip you with even more skills to support your own wellbeing, and the wellbeing of others.

For more information on our approach and Emotional Needs, visit the Suffolk Mind website.

Stress can often feel like it has come out of nowhere – and it can be hard to pinpoint why you feel the way you do. But just like with how a smoke alarm might warn us of a house fire, or a car dashboard displays a warning light – stress is our body’s natural way of telling us our needs aren’t being met.

What causes stress?

Stress is nature’s way of telling us one or more of our Emotional Needs aren’t being met. These are the needs which, when met in balance, help us feel happy and healthy.

Each of us have 12 Emotional Needs we need to meet:

Food & Drink, Movement and Sleep
Control, Security and Privacy
Achievement, Status and Meaning & Purpose
Community, Attention and Emotional Connection

If we don’t meet these needs, we can start to feel stressed. That’s especially true if we don’t meet them for a longer period of time, or if we are struggling to meet several at once.

All of us are on the Mental Health Continuum – and our place on it is dependent on how we feel. Stress is what we refer to as the crossover point from wellbeing to mild to moderate mental ill health.

That’s why it’s important for us to recognise stress and the ways it make us feel – as it can differ from person to person.

For some, that might include headaches, a change in our sleeping pattern or a difficulty concentrating.

Can a ‘little stress’ be good for us?

Some people might tell you that a ‘little stress is good for you’ as it might help you get things done. In reality, we should never ignore stress as our body’s natural alarm system and what it is trying to tell us.

It is by recognising what has caused you to feel stressed that you can manage it. That could be changes at work which are affecting how you meet your needs for Control and Security – or pressures in the family that mean you aren’t meeting your needs for Privacy, Attention and Emotional Connection.

Even smaller surprises to your day like encountering roadworks on your daily commute can cause stress to rear its head.

A good way to manage your stress is to assess the things that are out of your control. If we look at changes at work as an example, you could improve your need for Security by starting a small savings pot or cutting some costs at home.

Family pressures could be alleviated by giving yourself some ‘you time’ to help meet your need for Privacy. That could be taking 10 minutes to listen to your favourite music, engage in your favourite hobby or practice breathing techniques.

Rust out and burn out

Just like with the Mental Health Continuum, we are also all on the Human Function Curve. You can think of it a bit like a rollercoaster, in that it starts and ends at a low point with a big high in the middle.

At the highest point on the curve, you’ll see ‘stretch’ – which is replaced by ‘stress’ as pressure mounts and productivity drops.

Those low points at either side are known as ‘rust out’ and ‘burn out’.

So, what do all these terms mean?

For a start, it’s important to understand the differences between feeling ‘stretched’ and feeling ‘stressed’.

Stretch is when you feel motivated and you are achieving. Being out of your comfort zone can be a great feeling that pushes you to be the best you can be.

In short, you have the resources you need to get the job done.

Stretch feels like you are:

In control
Taking initiative
Achieving
Learning
Growing and developing
Problem solving
Having ideas

Not feeling stretched is when you will experience ‘rust out’. This is when you are not being stretched and you do not feel like you’re achieving something. This isn’t exclusive to the workplace, but could be felt at home or when you’re engaging in a hobby.

Rust out means your needs are not being met – and it’s time to find new ways to stretch yourself.

Feelings associated with rust out include:

Low satisfaction
Low morale
Anxiety
Depression
Low self esteem
Feeling disconnected

This indicates that your Emotional Needs are not being met, and you need to look for ways to stretch yourself, either personally or professionally.

On the flipside, too much stress can cause burn out. This is where pressure becomes too much and productivity drops.

Again, it means your needs are not being met – and it’s time to find ways to meet them again. A good place to start could be writing a list of the things you can and can’t control.

Feelings associated with burn out include:

Tiredness
Frustration
Loss of control
Anger
Fear
Depression

Looking to train your staff about mental health and the signs of stress and stretch? Learn more about our training courses here. You can also learn more about The Mental Health Toolkit approach on the Suffolk Mind website.