BBC Traitors: When “betrayal” hits the screen

What shows like Traitors can teach us about Emotional Needs and listening skills

Warning – spoilers ahead (up to episode 4, season 3)

High-stakes reality shows thrive on twists, deception and sudden shifts in loyalty. Viewers gasp, alliances crumble, and trust evaporates in seconds. But beyond the entertainment, these betrayals reflect deeper human themes: unmet emotional needs, suspicion, and the longing to feel heard and understood.

At Suffolk Mind, we believe these reactions are not just dramatic plot points, they’re rooted in universal emotional needs. And with skills such as reflective listening, active listening, and sensitivity to body language, we can better understand others, reduce conflict and rebuild trust — on-screen or in real life.

Traitors. Reality TV or real psychology?

Programmes like The Celebrity Traitors UK — featuring names like Jonathan Ross, Alan Carr, Cat Burns and Clare Balding — may appear to be just glitzy entertainment. But look closer and you’ll see emotional dynamics at play.

From teamwork to accusation, from laughter to suspicion and side-eye looks, every interaction reveals which emotional needs are being met… and which are not.

Want to find out which needs you are meeting well or not? Take our short survey to find out.

Emotional Needs & Resources: A lens for Faithfuls and Traitors

Our Emotional Needs & Resources framework includes 12 core needs and 9 innate resources we’re all born with and need to meet to stay mentally well.

Here’s how they show up in the castle setting:

• Emotional Connection: The need to feel accepted “warts and all.” Once Traitors are chosen, that foundational trust evaporates. Even close friends hesitate. (Sorry, Paloma.)
• Value, Meaning and Purpose: Everyone has a role to play. Whether Faithful or Traitor, everyone wants to contribute. Challenges offer recognition; winning for charity offers purpose even for those playing the villain.
• Community Spirit: Group challenges and Roundtables meet the need for belonging, even if alliances are uneasy.
• Security & Control: Completely absent. Who can be trusted? Will you be “banished” by breakfast?

Reflective & Active Listening — could they catch the Traitors sooner?

We watch deception unfold in plain sight and yet so often the Faithful miss glaring clues. Why?

Because listening isn’t just hearing words, it’s noticing how they’re said.

• Reflective Listening. Paraphrasing (“So what you’re saying is…”) helps ensure clarity and makes others feel heard. It prevents misinterpretation, something multiple contestants could benefit from. Ask clarifying questions to aid understanding and help someone feel heard (“Can I check I've understood you here…”)
• Active Listening. Being fully present rather than mentally preparing the next argument. It requires slowing down and listening to understand, not to respond.

How does the body language of the Traitors and Faithful communicate without words?

In tense Roundtable discussions, what isn’t said is often more revealing:

When applied beyond entertainment, such as in teams, families or leadership settings, noticing these cues allows us to respond with empathy instead of accusation.

From breakdown to repair

In the show, a moment of hesitation can spark suspicion. But in reality, a pause, rather than a reaction, can create space to re-establish trust.

This is where our Observing Self resource becomes powerful. By stepping back from our emotions, we gain clarity and can respond, not react.

Final thought and what to do next

TV betrayals may be staged but the emotions they trigger are very real. They mirror everyday dynamics at work, at home, and within communities.

By applying tools like reflective listening, active listening and body language awareness, grounded in our Emotional Needs & Resources approach, we don’t just decode drama. We build bridges, restore trust, and meet the needs that often go unseen.

👉 Want to strengthen your communication or leadership skills? Explore our practical workshops here.

👉 Talk to one of our friendly team about the courses we offer, and how we can support you. Email hello@thementalhealthtoolkit.co.uk